Voicemail

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Hey, y'all. This is Hardison, I'm not here right now, you know what to do. And man, Eliot, read your damn email. That answers whatever questions you're calling me with right now. If it's you, Nana, sorry for cussing."

Beep

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Voicemail, Wednesday afternoon

[vdistinctive]

So this was the sort of job that Eliot could absolutely use the team on -- but that would require far more explanations than he was willing to give right now. There was one thing he knew he'd need a hand on, though.

"Hardison. I'm goin' outta town for a couple days. I need you and Parker to look in on Val. Feed her, take her for walks. Do not spoil her. I swear, she weighs more'n a pound more when I get home than she does now, I'm going to break all your fingers.

"And make sure the kitchen staff doesn't burn Luke's down, okay? I'll see you, I dunno, Friday."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot was absolutely going to regret this.

"Hardison. Can you hack a computer from the other side of the damned ocean?"

[fates_jaye]

Jaye had some time on her hands, and felt like making a call to finally do something she'd wanted to do for months. So she called Anakin.

Or tried calling Anakin, anyway.

"So when do I get to meet up with your hotass friend? I mean, sure, I guessing seeing you would be okay too."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[To here, here, here and here.]

[14andseven]

From here

"WHY DO YOU WANT TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE? I don't even know you!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[To here, here, and here]

[filleauloup]

[[From here!]]

"Good lord, what kind of blackmail do you call that? I couldn't give a damn who's 'getting it on' with anyone's parents. What've I got that they'd want, anyway?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[To here, here, and here]

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

[from here! (http://regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com/1127.html?thread=409447#t409447)]

"Babe, if you're inviting me to a threesome, I have to invite you to a foursome. My boyfriend has watching rights too, it's just how it works.

And if you really think we're physically incompatible, I have to introduce you to Bo.

I'll be by to drop off a prezzie this week!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[To here, here, and here]

[myownface]

[From here!]

"Wait, if the angels have the phone box, who has the DeLorean?"

He could be calling Kenzi back. He could be dialing random numbers. Sparkle didn't even care anymore. He was getting his nerd on.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[To here, here, and here!]

[furnaceface]

[From here!]

Jono probably didn't want to know what had Bob so enthusiastic. But not knowing wasn't going to stop him from calling back and saying, dryly, "Tomorrow night. The library. With Colonel Mustard and a candlestick."

C'mon, Bob. Honestly.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[Belated reply here!]

[suitably_heroic]

[[ from here ]]

"You talk to all your elders with that mouth?" Atton complained. He was aware this probably wouldn't reach the kid; he just liked to complain. "Stop hitting on Kenobi, he's repressing enough without your help."

Click.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[To Jono because I am the worst.]

[heroic_jawline]

[OOC: From here!]

"I think my pants and myself will be skipping your ship tonight, ma'am. Um, sorry for the disappointment?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[To here]

[filleauloup]

[[From here!]]

"A threesome, 's that what you said? Well now, that's something I didn't know about you! It's nice that you have eyes and all, but I don't know that I'd be interested, in any case. But thank you for the compliment, even if you oughtn't be looking without asking first."

The half-demented sounding laugh probably didn't help.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

{To here because Steve needs more sex talk in his life!]

[kenselvren]

(From here!)

*laughter* "Sparkle? We would scare that boy out of his mind! I'm not saying no, though. We should talk later. Knives are definitely possible!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

(to here and here!)

[heromaniac]

From Here...

"Look. I don't know what that fiance of yours is telling you, but don't believe a word of it. He totally doesn't know anything about taking off my clothes. And I'm never boring." Momoko was rolling her eyes. "How did he say that with a straight face?... well, you know what I mean... Anyway. He's totally messing with you. Probably to get you to eat something for him. Maybe try some Spotted Dick or Bubble and Squeak and see if he shapes up? Or some good beer."

[filleauloup]

[[From here!]]

"A threesome, 's that what you said? Well now, that's something I didn't know about you! It's nice that you have eyes and all, but I don't know that I'd be interested, in any case. But thank you for the compliment, even if you oughtn't be looking without asking first."

The half-demented sounding laugh probably didn't help.

[vdistinctive]

Early Friday morning, Hardison's phone beeped with a number of photo texts from Eliot.

Of him playing with a laser sword. LIKE A nerd BOSS!

It was okay, Hardison. You could be jealous. No one would think less of you for it.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

WHERE ARE YOU AN' WHY AIN'T I THERE?!? was Hardison's immediate and offended response.

[bookbeltof_love]

Hardison hadn't, like, given her any deadline for when to get the New Orleans stuff done but, like, there was only so much checking up on people (who didn't want to be checked up on), fussing over animals (who mostly just wanted food and clean litter and naps anyway), and writing in her diary until her hands cramped (Nina wasn't fully ambidextrous, she was atrocious with right-handed combat with her bookbelt, but when it came to writing, like, that was easy….), and so that had left her with trying to research Prompto's world (no go, when her concentration was totally shot and reading a million treatises about things she only barely understood because she didn't have the cultural background to understand them was… not working…) which left her to organize all of her notes on the restaurants.

Since Hardison hadn't mentioned anything about how he wanted that all sorted, she broke it down her own way, first organizing the restaurants by alphabetical name, then in each folder having a list of subfolders detailing general information (location, hours, general prosperity, layout of each restaurant, type of clientele, reputation on the street), monetary information (Nina had struggled here, since she could track down which banks each place used, but could not get through the security they used, but she did track what each restaurant's monetary intake was, as noted, before it hit the bank), owners, and staff. The last two folders were by far the most extensive and it was here, really, that Nina's talent shone.

Nina loved knowing things about people. She loved it. She'd been given weeks to find out about the owners and how many kids they had and where they lived and who they talked to and what they ate and what they were like and people here were so stupid, they put their entire lives out on the internet and maybe she couldn't break through a bank's security, but she could wriggle her way through Facebook and Tumblr and Twitter and Instagram no problem. She had lists on what people were allergic to, on what they liked to eat, on where they shopped. What music they listened to, and what their last concerts had been. She noted favourite movies and shows and who was in fandom and who wasn't. 4th of July plans were written down. She had charts of who was sleeping with who and where and why and how that had gotten started and while she was careful, since this was a report to keep her glee out of it, the sheer volume of (neatly organized) information was still… it was still a lot.

He'd asked for information about the restaurants, and she'd given him that, but she'd also dropped the life stories of a lot of people on him. Because, like, wasn't it the people that made businesses work?

Besides, he hadn't been more specific and she was, like, pretty sure this was a test to see what she could find anyway. So.

Also shut up doing this all right now was the best coping method she had about the entirety of last week.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Sometime on Tuesday, Hardison sent a text to Nina, just to check in.

How's it going?

[heroic_jawline]

Steve and Tony had gone to fake Chicago for their class, which naturally meant that Hardison was getting a judgey-face Steve selfie with a Chicago dog.