Roughly On Par with the Cakemaker of Kiev

Eliot had actually believed for a moment there that that might work. When it didn't, he rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and turned to go toss his empty beer bottle in the recycling.

"You already had him for the 4th, ya damn stupid island," he said, because if talking to Hardison didn't work, then talking to Fandom herself might. Or something. "You holdin' out for Labor Day, too?"

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Parker sighed and leaned into Eliot, because she was serious about the orange soda. She liked it much better when she was kissing the taste off Hardison's mouth, but trying to feed it to the teddy-bear would be futile.

"And now we're talking to the Island. Island, enough is enough."

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Maybe it was the island. Or maybe it was the laws of dramatic irony hard at work. Either way, Hardison-the-bear gave another cheery, "Wuv you beary much!" before tipping over facefirst onto the couch cushion he was seated on.

And a moment later, there was a tangle of gangly, naked limbs as Hardison-the-man struggled hard not to complete his fall and faceplant onto the floor.

He was, of course, keeping up a running monologue. "...threaten to drink my soda cause I missed the Fourth of July? Ain't even a real holiday! Not like Thanksgivin' or Christmas or--whoa!"

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It was alright, Hardison. Eliot would hold you up.

Possibly whether you wanted him to or not. For the next several hours at least.

"What the hell man don't you ever goddamn do that again at least ferrets and wolverines are alive --"

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"IT WORKED!" Parker shrieked, and immediately threw herself into the hug-pile, saying, "No no, we saved the soda for you, it's all there, what do you mean, Fourth of July is a real holiday, it has explosions, we missed you..."

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Going from teddy bear to naked man to getting dragged upright and clung to by his partners was disorienting to say the least, but Hardison was willing to roll with it. At least so long as they didn't expect him to answer any of the questions or comments they were flinging his way.

Hopefully being alive and a person again would count in his favor? "Hey," he said in a brief lull. "So, I guess y'all missed me?"

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In response, Eliot dragged him into a kiss. Not that there was much distance to drag him across. "A week and a half," he said, and kissed him again. "You don't do that again."

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Parker hugged him from behind, looping her arms around Hardison's waist. "We were getting worried. Even though we knew exactly where you were." She sighed and rested her chin on his shoulder, watching the kissing.

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"Man, it wasn't even my fa--" All protestations of his innocence were swallowed up by Eliot's mouth and Hardison couldn't find it in himself to argue with that lovely turn of events. His aggravation at being dragged around outside melted under the kiss and when he was let go again, his eyes were soft and his smile dopey. "A'ight, I'll try not to," he promised. "Yo, mama, you got a welcome back kiss for me?"

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Parker didn't bother even saying it, because duh. A happy, less-desperate (for having been a ferret for the first week, and never being completely alone) kiss which was still warm and welcoming and relieved. "Mmmmmm... not the same without you."

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"Damn straight," Eliot said, pulling back enough to give Parker room, but never quite losing contact with Hardison. "Had about enough of this transformation nonsense. You weren't even animate."

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Hardison's hand snaked down to clasp Eliot's, even as he drew Parker in for a second kiss, just as warm (and needy, he could admit it) as the first. It was only fair, since Eliot got two, right?

"Yo, you both started it," he said, voice a reassuring rumble in his chest. "I had to make up for lost time."

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"We're all even now. Right? Right?" Parker double-checked with the guys, leaning into Hardison. "Are you getting cold? Should we be putting you in bed with covers? I think we need to do that."

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"You've been a ferret twice," Eliot pointed out, relief giving over to his usual relaxed grumpiness. "And -- man -- you turned into a teddy bear. I think I got one up over both of ya."

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Parker's comment about being cold reminded Hardison that he'd turned back stark naked. Somehow, that didn't seem like such a tragedy, nestled between his partners the way he was.

"You askin' if you should put me to bed?" he checked. "Or if we should all go to bed. Cause one of them's a lot different than the other."

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"That last one. You can't warm up in a bed by yourself," Parker said emphatically, tugging on his hand, grinning. To Eliot, she said, "Don't get hurt or crazy for a year, and you can turn into a wolf if you really want to. For a week. If Hardison is okay with that. And Megabyte."

Hardison was back, Val was now Megabyte again!

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"You're going to give my dog an identity crisis." Grump grump grump.

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"We'll call her Val the whole week you're a wolf," Hardison promised. "But only if you don't get hurt and go crazy."

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