The Shores of Selkie Lake, Friday Evening

[geniuswithasmartphone]

DJ Roomba was cranking out to tunes, though Hardison had left the soft serve machine at home, making this officially a 'roughing it' camping trip. Not that Eliot would necessarily agree (there was still electricity because Hardison was many things, but a goddamn savage wasn't one of them), but was it really a date if the two of them didn't bicker about something pointless while Parker looked on and offered commentary?

No. No it was not.

Originally, Hardison had planned to pitch the tent up in the woods, but something about them had been...off-putting. So instead he'd spent the morning setting up here on the shore, including hammering a 'No Suits Allowed' sign next to the water to encourage skinny dipping by his sexy, sexy partners. Steaks were resting in Eliot's signature marinade, other stuff had been peeled and chopped, the all-natural, hickory-chip grill was gently glowing red.

Aww yeah, he done good.

[For the crew!]

Comments

[vdistinctive]

"Would you look at that," Eliot said, taking in the whole set up. "You're almost camping."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"There's a tent!" Hardison said, pointing. "A tent! An' practically no wifi!" It certainly wasn't the wifi they had at the house, with speeds that were almost blinding. "That's entirely campin'!"

Aww, the date had started already!

[vdistinctive]

"If there's a robot vacuum cleaner, it ain't camping," Eliot said. He could allow some electricity, but he drew the completely imaginary line at robots.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Excuse you, DJ Roomba is a friend," Hardison declared. "He's also the DJ or did you want us to listen to that whiskey song of yours on repeat all night?"

[vdistinctive]

“It’s a robot vacuum cleaner with an ipod strapped on top. I know you have real friends.”

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"He's also a vicious knife-fighter," Hardison countered. "At least before I felt guilty 'bout havin' him, Knifey, an' Stabby compete in blood sports."

[vdistinctive]

“Taping a knife to a roomba doesn’t make it a knife fighter!”

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Stop tryna take away his accomplishments." Hardison picked up DJ Roomba to give it a hug. "He's got the scars to prove it," he added, showing the nicks in the roomba's casing where knives had poked.

[vdistinctive]

“No,” Eliot said. “It doesn’t.”

He had actual battle scars, thanks. Many of them from knife fights.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Yes, but what would happen if Hardison tried to cuddle him and mutter baby-nonsense at his battle scars, huh?

"Stop bein' so insecure about DJ Roomba," Hardison said. "There's room enough in my heart for two knife-fighters."

[vdistinctive]

"That's nice. But wandering around bumping into things with a knife is not a knife fight."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Tell me that after you accidentally step in front of one of 'em," Hardison said with a nod full of hard-earned wisdom.

[vdistinctive]

"If you watched where you put your feet, that wouldn't be a problem, would it."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You need a s'more to sweeten your mood," Hardison decided. "It was a knife fight. Blood was spilled."

[vdistinctive]

How did Eliot end up in love with a guy dumb enough to get cut by a knife he taped to a roomba himself? How had this possibly happened?

"Just -- stop arming the robots, okay? Ain't there, like, several dozen sci-fi stories telling you that's a bad idea?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Excuse you, Hardison was a genius. But Stabby had accidentally gotten tangled up in wires and had unplugged a server and--you know? The full story was boring.

"I told you I already stopped," Hardison said, giving Eliot a wounded look. "It seemed wrong, makin' three friends fight for my entertainment." He shook his head. "Bloodsports are wrong, man."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot opened his mouth to respond to that, then gave up, threw his hands in the air, and went stomping off to start the campfire.

How was this his life.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I love you!"

[whoisalicewhite]

Very very good! Parker was contemplating a swim, one full hour after eating. You never knew what would happen if you broke that rule. "I brought extra chocolate in case we run out making s'mores."

She had her priorities.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"An' we're right under the peak," Hardison pointed out, a little smug at how good he was at planning. "So if you ever wanted to burn off all that energy after s'mores by leapin' off the cliff, it's right there."

[whoisalicewhite]

"And then climb back up again," Parker said, very pleased. "You are the best Logistics Guy. As always." Mischievously she added, "You can jump off with me, too."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison just gave her sad eyes - the teasing sad ones, not the real ones. "Now mama, what I ever do to you that makes you so mean?"

[whoisalicewhite]

"Made funny noises when we dropped off towers," Parker offered, then leaned in for a kiss. "And! Gotten so much better at it, they're just squeaky noises now."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

And he'd stopped wetting himself, except for when he was pushed without notice, Eliot.

"So if I go back to screamin' shrilly...?" he checked.

[whoisalicewhite]

"We'd have to practice some more," Parker said seriously. "Also, there would be cuddling on the way down." Just as motivation, you know?

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison shuddered. Okay, not going back to the screaming, the last thing he wanted was more practice.

Even with the promise of cuddles.

"What if I stayed here an' made s'mores while you an' Eliot jumped?" he suggested desperately. "So you could be greeted by a snack with every leap?"

[whoisalicewhite]

Hmmmmmmmmmm. "Acceptable." Parker nodded, tiny smile lurking as she poked at one of his biceps. "This time."

It was gonna happen sometime, Hardison.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Yeah, but the longer he could push that off, the happier he'd be.

He leaned down to kiss her. "I know my girl," he said, smug.

[vdistinctive]

"Soooo, we got enough chocolate for, like, four months of camping, huh."

[whoisalicewhite]

"What if there's an amok Alot that we need to distract?"

That would be a Yes, Eliot.

[vdistinctive]

“You’re basically inviting over an alot of chocolate here, darlin’. And then you’re just gonna yell at me when I gotta fight it.”

[whoisalicewhite]

"You don't *have* to fight it. We could just invite it to stay."

Parker couldn't make up her mind if she'd want to cuddle an Alot of chocolate, or trap it and lick it to death.

[vdistinctive]

"Yeah, until it turns into an alot of aggression because you refuse to share."

[whoisalicewhite]

"I'm... getting better at that?" Really, Eliot. "And maybe it would catch the aggression from you, and not me. Since you're better at sharing feelings."

[vdistinctive]

"I'm not aggressive," Eliot protested. "Not, like, needlessly so, anyway."