geniuswithasmartphone | Onboard Dottie's Pride, Key Largo, Florida, Monday Evening

Hardison lounged on the deck of Dottie's Pride, sipping at a beer and watching the sun set over the water. Next to him, Megabyte and Stance snoozed next to his chair, tuckered out after a long day of romping about in the sea air. He wasn't sure where Eliot was--doing something nautical, no doubt--and the last time he'd seen Parker, she was clinging to the side of the boat and giving him a heart attack, but he figured they'd be joining him soon enough to enjoy the last vestiges of the day and looking out towards the gorgeous expanse of ocean. Tellingly, his laptop was still in its bag in the cabin; he hadn't even pulled his phone out, except to take pictures every so often.

Don't tell anyone, but sometimes it was nice to be unplugged for a bit. Long enough to appreciate warm weather, the rocking of a gentle ocean, and the company of the two loves of his life.

...Though he was starting to get hungry. One and a half days of sailing to get to the Florida Keys would do that to a man. Maybe he should needle Eliot about letting him starve at the very beginning of their vacation to see if that would turn into dinner for all of them.

Oh yeah, vacations were great.

[NFB and for thems what are with him, please!]

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Weirdly enough, Eliot had been using his phone, googling fishing spots and charters in Key Largo. Being Eliot, though, he hadn't gotten too far, so he came up on deck grumpy and irritable.

His mood lasted only until he got a look at Hardison all sacked out and relaxed, not a screen in sight.

This trip was just what they'd needed. Definitely.

Parker had been ... well, stalking fish. And that one shark that she knew was harmless. And contemplating if she wanted to take a shark back to Fandom, introduce it to the Kraken. Maybe the Kraken wanted a pet?

She popped her head over the edge of the boat, spitting water into the ocean through her teeth. "Do you think a shark would make a good pet?"

"Not unless some world has a domesticated species of 'em," Eliot said thoughtfully. "Or, I dunno, you get a little one and put it in a real big tank."

"I wouldn't put it in a tank! Captive shark." Parker shuddered, and pulled herself out of the water. "Mean." She flipped herself over, and her feet landed on the deck. "I was thinking the Kraken or the Island might want a pet."

"See, that's a different question," Eliot said. "How do you know the Kraken even likes pets?"

Parker contemplated that question, then shuffled over to pet the puppies. She liked having Stance there for Megabyte to play with when they were doing other things, or to play with herself when Megabyte was giving Eliot all her deserved attention.

"I don't. But I would, if I were a giant Kraken thingy. I'd want something to play with." She paused, and said, "Do you think the Kraken has a job?"

Sunlight and water, and a boat, and time to ask unanswerable questions: Yay vacations.

"Not the kind we'd recognize. I'm guessin' the Kraken and all its fish friends have a whole different set of priorities than us land types."

Both December and January had been very long and even the fun few days out in the Preserve hadn't been enough to let it all go. But this now, this was a proper vacation.

"Uh-oh," Hardison teased. "That's your grumpy step. I can tell cause it's..." Wait for it. "Very distinctive."

"There are sharks around here?"

There went any and all plans of scuba diving Hardison had had. Farewell, scuba plans. He hardly knew thee.

"So that's what happens when you finally switch off your screens, huh?" Eliot asked. "You actually learn to start noticin' your surroundings?"

"Like dolphins?" Parker kind of liked those. They looked like they knew how to have fun. "Just breathe water and eat. Flippers don't help them build things. Or blow them up." She scritched Stance's ears and said, "You've been very good for us, yes you have, good puppy."

"A hammerhead. And a nurse shark!" Parker had been pleased to see them, and probably not as afraid as she should've been, given there were probably other sharks around too. "Also some zebra fish! I took pictures. Here, look!" She also had no idea if that was the right name for the fish, but seriously didn't care. She dripped her way over to stand next to Hardison, and bestowed a damp kiss on his head.

"Dolph -- Parker, you know dolphins ain't fish, right? They don't breathe water."

"Don't be silly. They're aliens."

And there is nothing you can say to convince her otherwise.

"I'm changin' my boat to go to Key Boring, the one Eliot wanted to go to," Hardison said flatly. Hammerheads. "I've seen Mandibles. An' the entire shark-cyclone franchise. Nope."

This was him, noping out entirely!

"Or maybe your sealegs ain't kicked in yet, so you ain't walkin' with your customary ninja-cat feet," Hardison argued.

Because they got to do the things they loved on vacation and that meant bickering.

"I love that movie! It's so hilarious. And the Cyclone Sharks are awesome!" Trust Parker to have all the weirdest enthusiasms. "Awww, come on, real sharks never get as big as those ones. And they can't fly." She stopped to think about it. "Maybe in Fandom?" Which would be why they were on vacation awaaaay from Fandom.

Pretty sure they had invaded Fandom once, in fact.

"They ain't gotta fly, mama! Not when you're swimmin' right there with 'em!"

"I was born with sealegs." In Oklahoma. Definitely. "Unlike some folks, who spent the first day of this adventure moaning about dramamine. . . ."

"They don't even look like aliens."

"Born in Oklahoma," Hardison muttered. "An', what? You woulda rather I threw up all over your deck or you rather I take some damn dramamine?"

"They got water in Oklahoma." Lakes. They had lakes in Oklahoma. And occasional rivers and things. "Takin' it's fine. It's when ya gotta talk about it for twenty minutes first."

"How would you know?" Parker asked. "Aside from the ones on the Island. And they all look different from each other."

Parker curled up next to him, and grinned happily. "These aren't the bitey ones. And I have a knife, anyway." She paused, thinking. "And an Eliot. I'm pretty sure he could take a shark."

Eliot gave her a long, blank look, then shrugged. "They're completely adapted to their environment," he pointed out. "Why would aliens be perfectly adapted to Earth's oceans?"

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Onboard Dottie's Pride, Key Largo, Florida, Monday Evening

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