geniuswithasmartphone: (Planning Around Table (All Three))
[personal profile] geniuswithasmartphone
Hardison always loved his partners. But sometimes he loved them extra. Like right now, when they were indulging him in one of his favorite non-computer and non-bedroom pastimes: good, old-fashioned, pen-and-paper style D&D. 5th Edition had come out awhile ago, but Hardison had been so soured by 4th Ed that he'd refused to even acknowledge it. But some time on an old forum he'd started hanging out on during high school had convinced him to give it a try--and he'd managed to convince Parker and Eliot to try it along with him.

Okay, for Parker, he'd just used one of his 'Hardison Gets To Choose The Date' coupons. Eliot had required the real convincing.

But here they were, sitting around the dining room table, paper, pencils, and many-sided dice around them. Hardison was behind his DM screen as was right and proper, with the various NPCs he'd lovingly crafted over the last week in a neat pile to his side. Sure, he could have used his computer, but it just felt right to do this all by hand. He also had several bottles of Squeeze Orange soda and bags of gummy frogs handy to keep him going, but in deference to Eliot's delicate sensibilities (and as a subtle thank you for agreeing to play), most of the other snacks were things diced fruit and a veggie platter.

And a giant bowl of Doritos, because some things were just tradition, okay?

"A'ight," he said, beaming at them. "I took the liberty of pre-gennin' some characters for y'all to choose from so you ain't gotta worry about makin' characters tonight. Just tell me what you wanna be an' I'll hook you up."

[For the excited players!]

Date: 2015-09-27 03:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
"How awesome of a thief am I, and what is my pretend-name?" Parker asked, bouncing a little, then stuffing a handful of Doritos in her mouth.

Date: 2015-09-27 03:06 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (baffled-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
Eliot was peering at the dice. "The hell is all this for? What's wrong with just a nice, normal pair of dice?"

He wasn't trying to be difficult. (He didn't have to try.) This made Hardison happy, so he was willing to try it.

But why did all of Hardison's hobbies have to be so complicated?

Date: 2015-09-27 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
"A magic pony."

Yup, she wanted to be Pinkie.

"Is that one of the options?"

Date: 2015-09-27 03:20 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (Parker look exchange-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
And Hardison couldn't bluff his way out of a paper bag, so the usual grown up games were right out.

"Tell me she can't play a magic pony." Stop killing Parker's dreams, Eliot. "And try to remember that 'geek' isn't one of the several languages I speak."

Date: 2015-09-27 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
*Some*. But Pinkie could talk and she was pink. So, clearly she was not like other ponies.

"Oh, I thought we were stealing things." She frowned a little, confused. "We stole things last time, we're not doing that now?" She looked over at Eliot, and defiantly bit into another Dorita.

She wasn't going to eat a carrot if you weren't going to vote for her being a magic pony, Eliot.

Date: 2015-09-27 03:34 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (thinky-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
Just so long as she didn't try to tell him that the fact that it was orange made it healthy.

"I don't think the whole game is stealing things," Eliot pointed out. He was reasonably sure there were, like, magic spells and monsters at least to go along with it. "There are at least . . . dragons."

Eliot's powers of observation were keen.

Date: 2015-09-27 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
"Why would I want to be anything but a thief? If I can't be a pony..." And another Dorito died in the service of Parker's confusion.

Date: 2015-09-27 03:53 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (over the shoulder-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
"It's for pretend, Parker," Eliot said. "You know, like a grift." He picked up one of the character sheets at random. "I'll play this one."

Date: 2015-09-27 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
"But we're not even in the bedroom!" Parker sighed, then shrugged. "If Eliot's not going to be Eliot, I should be Eliot. I want to PARKER SMASH!" Which she did, rattling the table and the dice when her fists came down.

Date: 2015-09-27 04:17 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (baffled-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
Eliot scowled at the character sheet he'd picked up. ". . . Does he fist clouds?" Your naming skills sucked, Hardison. "The hell is a 'magic missle'?" He looked up when the table rattled. "Pretend smashing, Parker. Try not to break the table."

Date: 2015-09-27 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
"Oh, so he's going to get to blow stuff up instead." That made sense. Eliot was Destruction, so. "Just don't make me one of the little short guys. That makes everything more difficult." She absently started eating one of the grape tomatoes from the veggie tray. "How would you fist a cloud, anyway?"

Eliot? Any thoughts on that topic?

Date: 2015-09-27 04:38 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (lounging coffee-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
"I don't know, ask the genius boy who named a wizard 'Cloud-Fister'." Eliot glared at the spell compendium index, then started flipping through it. "I'm busy doing homework."

Date: 2015-09-27 04:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
"Coooooooool," Parker said, grinning widely. "I am Blagga. Blaaaagaaaa. I am the skull-crusher!... also, I need rope," she said in her normal voice. "You always need rope, even if you're a skull-crusher." She patted Eliot's arm. "Don't worry Cloudy, I have your back."

Date: 2015-09-27 04:55 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (thinky-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
"I . . . might have 120 feet of rope?" Look, he only understood maybe an eighth of what was written on his sheet. "And three millimeters of . . . something."

Date: 2015-09-27 05:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
And tying up minions. And rappelling down the face of whatever. Maybe strangling someone. Parker didn't want to limit herself.

"Oooo. Shiny! And a club. And ... let's see, armor, check, bags for holding treasure, check. Hey, there's no duct tape on this list." Or gum! Seriously, Hardison, like she'd go anywhere without something to stick to something else? "Who needs pitons to climb a rope?" Snort.

Date: 2015-09-27 05:07 am (UTC)
vdistinctive: (thinky-face)
From: [personal profile] vdistinctive
"It's a magic spell," Eliot complained. "It's not like I'm only carryin' a certain amount of ammo, here. And since when is a cloak armor?"

Date: 2015-09-27 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com
"Are you just making this up?" Parker asked, curious. "Or did you memorize the whole book?" Because wow, he had an answer for everything. "Well... I should invent duct tape and use it. But. Whatever duct tape would be in this world. Glue-rope. Or something." She smirked, then said, "I am ready to kick ass and grab treasure! Or the other way around!"

That sounded half-orc-ish, right?

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